"I never argue with myself. I'm one of the few people I can agree with."

She had him at 17
but his father was a no show.
Now you get a chance to show her
what kind of fathering powers you've got.
Do you have what it takes to be...

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP DADDY?
(Sundays @ 8 p.m./9 p.m. central time)

The Distribution of Internet-Based Liquids Jingle #3

Fresh is best
but when you've got to choose
second best
choose E-Tea!

The descent is equally as important as the lift.

Jackhammers make it hard to be Zen.

Teach a man to fish...

...and you've fed his testicles to a snakehead.

Working class Gods and Prophets

Buddha never wrote a resume.

Muhammad never had a retail job.

Christ never got direct deposit.

Vishnu and Shiva never dealt with a boss' backlash.

Issac never needed a cup of coffee to keep tired eyelids from closing due to monotony.

Peter never filed a tax return.

Lao-Tzu never wished for the working day to end.



If we're meant to live by example then why must we?

Too bearded for some...

...not bearded enough for others.